Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
