maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Randomize
