You made me cry and you don't even care
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
