I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
