Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
