I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Randomize
