Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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