I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
