he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Randomize
