i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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