3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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