uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize