so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
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Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
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My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
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