his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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