Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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