Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
