those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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