Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
