you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize