help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
you will always have a special place in my vag
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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