I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
