I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...