how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake