We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is