Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
