by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Randomize
