roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I need moral support for this bender
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
