and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Hippo gnu deer
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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