i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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