Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
