I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
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