So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
