one might say we're banned from that church
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
