I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
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