Kiss
Puke
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
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