my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Randomize
