like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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