i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
