In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize