I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
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I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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