Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
