Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
