guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
