i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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