Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Randomize
