i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Randomize
