I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
True strength comes from lack of pants
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
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