Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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