Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
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