Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
