The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
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