You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
