i don't plan on having that self control this summer
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
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