Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize