3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
