Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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