jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
