I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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