mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
she smelled like a LAN party
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
