well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
