"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
you're hired as official boob wrangler
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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