To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize
