New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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