i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
