:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
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hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
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Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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