its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
