if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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