escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Randomize