I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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