I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize